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ADOPTION
A Popular Win-Win Solution

 

Eduardo Versastegui actor/producer spoke at the White House...saying:  'Families have changed their lives forever after adopting a child. Because it's not only that a family can give a child a home, but they themselves would have the gift of  motherhood and fatherhood.  So in adoption... everybody wins' 


Eduardo Shares That:

As in his film "Bella", courageous women of all ages have been discovering adoption, and have been willing to   bring their pregnancies to term  to  gift    their  babies  with  life.  For    some,   this is   a  religious  decision.   Most  religions  believe  that life  begins at conception.    

For some women, it is the pure joy  of  bringing life into  this world or giving life to their unborn baby (see our baby development page). For others, the decision is prompted by a loving friend or parents, as in  the  movies Bella and Juno. 

For some women, it is a decision born out of love for their baby.

  • See the below videos
  • Then read the Steve Jobs, Faith Hill, and other adoption success stories.

and testimonials at the bottom of this page - they offer great examples of turning what seems to be a heartship into victory and joy - very beautiful.

Today,
adoption is more than just a choice.
It is a path.....to a richer life,
inner satisfaction, self-esteem,
and path
toward life-long contentment and joy --
with lots of help for you, along your way --
from your pregnancy care center
advisor and
adoption agency workers.


Read ahead
and explore this wonderful alternative.

Did you know, there are over 1.5 million parents waiting to adopt, who have been screen for financial, social, medical and psycological health.


Adoption has changed tremendously.  It “no longer has to be a final goodbye”…you can actually help select the parents and, in open adoption, you have the option to remain in contact with your baby and its new parents.  You now have many choices.  Visit this site to obtain some more detail; http://www.birthmothershelp.com


Birth mothers today, who use open adoption,
do not think of it as "giving their baby away"
but as

"placing their baby
with a family"

 


You have the POWER now -- you have a chance to give your baby a new life with a good family -- a family that will be loving, go the distance for your baby, and help your baby to grow into a fine adult that you will be proud of.


REASONS
Why Birth Moms Turn to Adoption!

Birthing their baby and placing it for adoption gave these moms self-respect, based on knowing they made the right decision, and the joy of giving life to their child. It can also become a major source of healing. Read about this story -- a rape story -- from one of the worst inner cities in the United States, Harlem, New York. Yet, it too has a beautiful adoption ending. The mother, Donna Lewis, was attacked and raped by a stranger!!!  Yet even in this situation, she reports that she received healing strength and love from the growing child in her womb and the adoption process.  

Read this wonderful testimony, called "I Received Grace"

I talked with the pregnancy center advisor volunteer who helped Donna. She said that Donna confided -- deciding to do the right thing for herself and baby was hard -- in fact, it did not feel good. It meant 5 more months of stares, questions, and self-perception struggles.  But, then, as she persisted, she began to slowly feel graced by her beautiful daughter.  She said, "she has been a huge factor healing my wounded spirit from the violences of the rape". .  and that her daughter, who is now grown, is a "fabulous addition to the world...she is a happy, intelligent, and centered".

Birth Moms Tell
How Adoption Heals

Other birth moms typically report that their children have helped them heal too -- from wounds caused by loved ones who turned away, pushed abortion, did not want their baby, or became abusive. They too got graces as they watched their children thrive and grow.   Fortunately, more birth mothers are discovering the benefits of the new open method of adoption and are telling others about -- as in the above article.


Give Adoption a Chance.
Investigate it Today.

  
 It is the loving decision in which "everyone wins".
Review the below info, go to other sites, come back, and then

call a pregnancy center advisor to help you.


      
Check Out the Movies About Adoption -
Bella or Juno!




This true story shows adoption in a whole new light -- It is a tremendous source of
love and joy for BOTH the mother, the baby girl, and adoptive parents.





For women of any  faith who are looking for compassionate, non-judgmental help with an unplanned pregnancy.  For more information, you may call 1-800-923-6784,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
With Over 22 Years of Building Families and Helping Women, we can help you 
Here is a list of steps.  Take the first step.  Call us.
Here are some Catholic Families Waiting to Adopt


Baptism - A Gift from Mom to Child for
All Eternity!

Here is information on Baptising your baby --
baptism in most Catholic or Christian churches

is accepted by other Catholic or Christian Churches.
When a child is baptised, the child becomes one with Jesus Christ forever.
This is a wonderful gift you can give your child that lasts for all Eternity.

Let your new pregnancy center friend help you with this.
Another wonderful gift you give you child is the child's name.

It is better to have your child baptized after their adoption is finalized.  Then, you can be sure the following information will be entered in the register.  This information will be required for the child to receive confirmation and communion in a Catholic Church, or to become a pastor in any Christian church.  Consider, this is as much a possibility for your baby as for any other.  It is nice to wonder
about the possibilities -- doctor, dancer, broadcaster, weatherman, fireman, and father.

    the Christian name(s) of the child as designated by the adoptive parent(s);

    the name(s) of the adoptive parent(s);

    the date and place of birth;

    the names of the sponsors selected by the adoptive parent(s);

    the place and date of the baptism;

    the name of the minister performing the baptism; and

    the fact of adoption but not the names of the natural parents.

Baptismal certificates issued by the parish for adopted children will be no different from other baptismal certificates. No mention of the fact of adoption shall be made on the baptismal certificate.


Still A Heroic Choice   

To place your baby for adoption is one of the hardest choices in life, even though it is for a good reason -- to enable your baby to have a loving upbringing, education, and opportunities in life. Actually, the Sisters of Life, who help many moms in New York, New Jersey, Long Island, and Connecticut to place their beautiful children for adoption say it is "the one of the most heroic choices on this earth".  Do not hesitate to call them for an assist!

SISTERS OF LIFE Offer Adoption Help!   

The sisters came and talked with our organization in 2009 and again this year, 2011.  They said
that mothers who place their babies for adoption are heroines, like Blessed Virgin Mary, who said "Yes" to God.  Mary was willing to bring Jesus into the world without knowing how her life would
be changed thereafter.  Moms who place their babies for adoption do the same thing. There are blessings from God for you for doing this.  

The Sisters of Life admire you.
Call them for help and love.
Read about their sincere devotion to God.

1955 Needham Ave, Bronx, NY - (718) 881-7286
261 Alexander Ave, Bronx, NY - (718) 292-1806
159 Sky Meadow Dr, Stamford, CT 06903 (203) 329-1494 or 1492

Here are MANY MORE LOCATIONS AND PHONES

See their Retreat House In CT --
Maybe, one day, you can give back as a
volunteer coworker there!

It takes a tremendous amount of real motherly love and maturity to deliver your baby to another couple, even with an open adoption.  But, if you can do it, you will be on your way to getting a big dose of self-esteem, lifetime of motherly joy knowing you did the right thing for your child, with rewarding extra graces from God.  Let the Sisters of Life and your pregnancy center friend help you. 


Benefits of Adoption



For You - there is the opportunity to:

    Be a "Mother" Forever

  • The joy of giving the gift of life and loving parents to your child!
  • The chance to make the dreams you have for your child come true
  • The option to help choose a family for your child -- the one you like best, can relate to, and will enjoy getting to know personally
  • On the practical side, pre-natal and delivery expenses paid as needed, and care for you and your child by excellent doctors and staff
  • All legal expenses and attorney fees will be paid for you
  • A support group of birth mothers who will share their experiences with you
  • Members of your family may also receive counseling/support services
  • For the rest of your life:
    • Feeling good about your decision and proud of yourself
    • Getting healing, strength, love and joy from your child -- if you stay in touch
      See the article, "I Received Grace"

For Your Child:

  • The love and support of adoptive parents who are emotionally and financially ready to parent
  • The kind of home and family life that you desire for your child
  • A two parent home that may also include a brother or sister
  • Resources and provisions that might not otherwise be provided for financially
  • A greater probability of a good education, going to college, and launching a quality life. Take a look at the below spectacular success stories....which are just several of many!.

Steve Jobs
Was an Adopted Child


He Started Apple Computer!!!
Jobs, with Stephen Wozniac, co-founded Apple Computers, after developing their first machine in a garage. Jobs' company was also the brains behind the first computer-animated film Toy Story..

He was orphaned as a baby and adopted. As a boy, he showed remarkable electronics aptitude early in life and attended lectures at Hewlett-Packard, where he also had a summer job and met Wozniac.

Faith Hill
was an Adopted Child

She had her first band when she was 16 or 17! She went to Nashville when she was 19 and worked at various jobs until her big break with Take Me As I Am in 1993. Her second album was It Matters to Me in 1995 and she participated in The Best of Country Sings The Best of Disney and For Our Children Too, both in 1996. Faith was released in 1999.

For the Adoptive Couple:

When you place your baby with the loving couple that you select to be the adoptive parents, you give them the chance to:

  • To open their hearts to your baby.
  • To have the joy and blessing of raising your baby in their family as their own child.
  • To selflessly share their love and resources with your baby.
  • To parent your baby through childhood and beyond adulthood - forever.
  • To provide your child with the proper schooling and guide your child through
    social and life experiences.
  • To help your child to develop skills and talents, be a good student and worker, make wise decisions, give and share love, grow into a wholesome and confident person, and enjoy the strong self-worth that comes from being in a family that really wanted him or her, and a family that appreciatively and generously gives love and guidance.

    Adoptive families generally excel at really wanting their children.

    They often wait years and go through much heartbreak and
    trouble to have your baby placed with them. In addition, before
    considering adoption, many of them tried for long periods
    of time to become pregnant. When a child is placed with
    them, they tend to be MOST grateful.

    With an adoptive family, your child has a GOOD chance
    of reaping the rewards of being totally wanted and loved,

    and of growing into someone you will be pleased with and
    proud of.


Choosing the Adoption Agency in CT

Work with your Pregnancy Center friend, who will probably be aware of several reputable agencies. For example, any of the pregnancy centers listed here, such the Hopeline which posts a Web site that invites you to question them about adoption at http://hopelineprc.org  will be able to offer sound advise on adoption too http://adopting.adoption.com 

You will also need to meet with an adoption lawyer, through the pregnancy center and adoption agency, and then meet the couple who is adopting your baby – usually through letters and phone conversations first.  Read http://www.birthmothershelp.com for more details.


Types of Adoption


Open Adoption:

In a full open adoption, the baby is placed directly into the loving adoptive family. There is no wait in an orphanage. In addition, the birth mother may help to select potential parents, meet them and have questions answered during an interview them with them. The birth mom has the option to enjoy regular contact between the birth mom and her child -- including scheduled visits, the sharing in holiday cards and gifts, exchanges of pictures and video. For more info on this popular form of adoption see http://adoption.about.com/od/parenting/f/whtopenadoption.htm

Semi- Closed Adoption:
Another option to the birth mom is semi-closed. This option is the same as open but includes less visits and sharing.

Semi- Open Adoption:
In the option, there are no visits and cards and gifts are exchanged through a facilitator, several times a year.

CT Permits an Identified Parent:  
Is when the birth parents want to give their child to a couple they know who wants a child. This is called "identified".   

Closed Adoption: 
Closed – Is not generally practiced anymore, and if it is, it is by their birth mother’s request.  There is no contact.

In several options, the birth mother can remain anonymous.  



Adoption Through an Agency

Is not permitted in CT.  The Attorney who wishes to place a child for you must operate through a licensed child-placing agency such as CARA.  Operating through an attorney is generally not recommended anyway.  Attorneys generally do not do the same degree of extensive research and investigation to help you make a good match -- child to parents, and they may not even investigate the parents as thoroughly as an agency. 


What About the Natural Father?


The law requires that both the natural mother and father provide the child for adoption. If the father is not known -- the mother can release the child.  The Adoption Agency and lawyer know how to do this. If the father is known, it would be good to tell the father that you are planning to put the baby up for adoption and obtain his agreement. It could prevent him from lifetime of guilt after he matures and realizes exactly what he did. 


Do You Need to Buy Time to Decide?

Which type of adoption

Whether to keep your child

Concerns About Foster Care?

We often hear of serious concerns that your beautiful child, that you offer for adoption, will not be adopted and wind up in foster care.  What you hear are stories from old times when adoption was closed.  Adoption is now open, and you may be involved in the process -- even select the parents from among the millions of waiting American families like the families above.  You have the option to stay in touch with the adoptive parents and arrange to see your child periodically as your child grows. Each of you can create a contract with the adoptive parents, through the help of the agency, to see your child as often or as little as both of you agree is good for both the birth mother, you, and adoptive mom. You may wish to just share photos and that is fine. You will continue to track and monitor your child in that way. Review everything about the new forms of adoption with your pregnancy care advisor. Discuss the type of contract you might want with her and the adoption agency. Above all, do not let doubting Thomas type people discourage you.  You know what is best for your baby and you -- follow your heart.



 


A Loving Foster Home As A Short-Term Option?

Your Pregnancy Center friend can help you with this decision.  The Adoption Agency and lawyer can guide you through the process. This is a good alternative only if you know that in a year or so (two years at the most),  you will have a firm decision. 

It is important to situate your child in a permanent home as young as possible.  As you know, the most formative years in a child's life are between birth and five years old.  It is during this period, the child develops basic patterns of behavior based on its bonding with its parents, its environment, and senses of well-being and security in the world. The child should spend most of these early formation years with its permanent family. 

Since this bonding could include the natural mother (if you select Open Adoption), it is better to decide which type of adoption ASAP. If you do not select Open Adoption, it is better to make this decision early to let you move forward with your life and let your child start its new life.

The American pregnancy Helpline http://www.thehelpline.org/ suggests you take the following into consideration as you interview adoption agencies and the adoption attorneys they work with or your pregnancy center referred you to.

Get referrals from friends or others that have adopted or have placed their child for adoption, or ask the an agency for a list of referrals

Seek out and develop a list of agencies and attorneys that meet your basic needs

Find out what services they provide before and after the adoption

Find information on open verses closed adoption and the attorney’s views and experience with both types Find out the costs of the adoption and what must be covered by the adoptive family

Is there any cost to the birth mother

Ask how long the attorney has been doing this line of work

Find out if the attorney/agency has ever had any disrupted adoptions, and why

Ask if the agency places minority or biracial children

Ask about the contract; have the pregnancy center walk you through the contract and explain it to you

Ask about Adoption Plans and Decrees

Above all, find out what the procedures are on finding out details about the adoptive parents such as health, education, occupations, religion.  A full list of questions to ask about the parents is provided below, under "Choosing the Parents". 

 The Adoptive Parents will also Ask Questions, Such As:

How long is the average wait is for a couple

What the procedures are on finding out the health of the child

How involved are the birth parents’ parents with the adoption agency and attorney

Source: “Starting Adoption,” Adoption.org. 1994.

Choosing the Parents

How do you want to find the parents – by region, ethnicity, religion, randomly view profiles?  The Adoptive Network Law Center offers lots of wonderful parents to review for possible candidates at

http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/waitingfamilies/adoption-unplanned-pregnancy.html   and also at   http://www.connecticutadoptivefamilies.com/    and
http://www.adoption.org/adopt/connecticut-adoption-registry.php  

Checking out CT, here are some Connecticut couples who are seeking to adopt a baby -- from American Adoptions: http://www.americanadoptions.com/family_profile/browse?search=search&family_state=ct

Following is a full list of questions to ask the parents from The American Pregnancy Helpline, http://www.thehelpline.org/ with some additions by the Gospel of Life Society.  These questions will help you make the right selection for your child.  The adoption agency will help you to ask these questions and evaluate answers. Take good notes or bring a recorder.

    

Adoption Statistics:

According to the 1988 National Survey on Family Growth,

  • About 2 million women have sought to adopt a child.
  • Nearly two-thirds of adoptive families signed up with private ore religious adoption agencies earned $50,000 or more.

QUESTIONS TO ASK COUPLES

         Family History:

  • What led to your interest in adopting?
  • How long have you been married?
  • What makes you marriage work?
  • What is your health history? Current health?
  • Do you have medical insurance? Dental? Eyes?
  • Do you have a good pediatrician?
  • Other children? natural? adopted?
  • How many children would you like to have or adopt?
  • Who are the family members in your extended family? (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.)
  • How much contact do you have with them?
  • Do any of them live with you?
  • Does anyone else live with you?
  • Are there any inherited family talents or health risks?

          Present Life:

  • What religion are you?  If each is a different religion, which will the child be brought up in?
  • Would you be agreeable to introducing your adopted child to God?  Starting in the formative years one to five?
  • Do you have any pets, and if so what kind?
  • What are your occupations?
  • What is your educational background?

          Parenting Plans:

  • Will you both work after adoption?
  • If so, how will you take care of the child during the day?
    Day care? Other?
  • Do you plan to put the child in pre-school prior to kindergarten?
  • Where do you live, and is that close to the country, city, ocean, lakes, and what’s it like there? What is the community like?
  • Are there other children in the neighborhood?
  • Will you use the public school or private schools?
  • If public, is the nearby public school and good one?
  • What are you hobbies, interests, and dreams for the future?
  • How will you help the child to discover their talents and career path?
  • What type of education would you want for your child?
  • What kind of future do you see for your adopted child?
  • Do you have a savings plan for your adopted child’s college plans, or do you plan to put one in place?

          Relationships:

  • How much contact do you expect to have with me?
  • How will you present me to the child?
  • How will we communicate on a regular basis (email? phone? both? other?)
  • What will make you excellent parents?
  • Do you have a sense of humor?
  • With which parent or family member will the child be spending the most time?
  • What connections through family and friends do you have with adoption?
  • How will you avoid having to tell a young child "no" all the time? (Many parents divert their children.)  Too many no's stops a child from developing a sense of well being.
  • What are your beliefs about discipline?
  • Is there any time when spanking is okay (does not include gentle slap on hand)?
  • From ages one to four, what forms of discipline will you use (divert the child from what is bad, gentle slap on hand regarding hazardous things such as stove, other). 
  • From ages four up ( punishment, take privileges away, no pizza parlor, other)
  • How do you handle a serious conflict? With adults?  With babies? With children? Teens?  Other women in your family?  (This is how they will work with you -- an important question.)
  • What do you do to keep yourself objective and calm in times of conflict?
  • Can you respect the human dignity of a baby? Child?  Teen?

Questions & Answers

Here are some sites with a great deal of information to answer your many questions:

http://www.crisispregnancy.com/birth-mother/where-do-i-start-2.html
http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/birthmother
http://www.arcct.org/ - Adoption Resource Center of CT
http://hartford.about.com/library/weekly/aa111301a.htm
http://birthmotherschoice.org/index.php
http://www.adoption.org
http://www.genialdeals.com/
http://web.info.com
http://www.childrenshopeint.org/
http://www.americanadoptions.com/

Some Adoption Agencies

Bethany Christian Services - http://www.bethany.org/
for Compassionate, Christian Care!
Locations in NY, NJ, Mass, CT, PA http://www.bethany.org/locations
Main Office: 1-800-BETHANY
292 Fifth Ave, Suite 400
New York, NY 10001-4513

Connecticut Adoption & Family Services - http://www.adoptacarakid.org/
Main Office: 1-860-444-0553
2 Union Plaza, Suite 300, New London, CT 06320
A Poem    http://www.adoptacarakid.org/?sec=sec&s=27
Considering Adoption?  Testimonials   http://www.adoptacarakid.org/?sec=sec&s=44
Free Services   http://www.adoptacarakid.org/?sec=sec&s=21

National Council of Adoption
National Council of Adoption - Thinking About Adoption?  http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/adoption_options.html
Adoption Success Quotes   http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/adopt_quotes.html
Locations within CT or 10 miles of CT
Main Offices:
924 Farmington Ave.
Ste. 106
West Hartford, CT. 6107  
1-860-233-6666

776 Farmington Avenue
West Hartford, CT. 06119
860-570-1740 CT.
212-371-1000

Testimonials by
Adoptive Families

More
Testimonials!

Birth Mothers!
Adoptees!
Adoptive Family

 

The song in the above video was recorded by Marie Osmond, in gratitude for her adopted children.

Here's the story about the song by
the song writer...Michael McLean.

 
May God Bless you in your this special journey.

God meant for us to enjoy the miracle of giving birth -- not to suffer it. Adoption
will help you to have the glowing
forever-experience of motherhood
that God intended.

© KAROL-Davide Publications 2007. All Rights Reserved